Starvedartist's Blog

Writing Fiction

StarvedArtist — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 05:28:25 +0000

A tactic taught to early writers is to write what you know, which is to say write from experiences that way you’re not straining to create lie upon lie and fabricate a microcosm, or in some cases an entire universe. However, when you really want to create a story, a story from nothing; you put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and you strain. You do it in notes or you just write, and create tons of contradictions, then fix them after you’ve finished the basic story.

Tom sat up, feeling as if his head had been used to tear down the walls of Jericho. His vision was stilled blurred from a premature awakening from deep sleep. It wasn’t that he woke with a start, or to cold sweats and labored breathing; it was more akin to waking up to an alarm clock in the middle of REM sleep.

It had happened again. He had dreamed in some bastardized form of lucidity. He had been cognizant that it was a dream, which usually prompts the dreamer to take control of the dream, but instead he felt like a puppet.

Normally, his dreams were like watching a movie and being behind the wheel in first person of the protagonist, but this had been different. He hadn’t been the hero, the main character, or any semblance of focus in the dream. It was almost as if he had been controlled by some outside force: hence puppet.

He wiped the blotches from his eyes, and got out of bed to head for the kitchen. He needed something to at least dull the pain that swallowed his skull. He fumbled with the pill bottle, dumped out five motrin, and dry swallowed them all. Only as an after thought did he drink a glass of water. He crawled back into bed and stared at the ceiling or the walls, unable to sleep again, until his alarm clock genuinely went off at 6:00am.

Tom lived in a not too big, not too small apartment in Raleigh, NC. His walls were white washed, but had several posters or blown up pictures of art, the kind of black and white photography that appears real enough, but has contradictory images. His favorite was a man standing in a suit standing in an ocean at the foot of an escalator. He had very practical and basic things in his apartment, very in-definitive things that could tell a person very little about who Tom was. It was quaint, utilitarian, but that’s how Tom’s life had become since he had lost his wife in a fire. He, like most good natured men, blamed himself for a time, though in truth he never fully stopped. Often his dreams would turn to nightmares and his mind ruled with merciless and unforgiving ire. He’d relive her death, and very rarely was it a fire, but he would create and fabricate scenarios that gave him a real chance at rescuing her, a chance that he always failed. These nightmares didn’t just attack him when he slept, but any time his mind was idle. At the peak of his depression, he researched how to become a lucid dreamer, learned all the tricks like marking on your hand then noticing the lack of a mark but remembering it’s existence. However, instead of allowing him to dream lucidly, he found himself out of the lime light, but at least that also meant no more dead Meredith dreams, which was a welcome reprieve.

Tom was a professor at North Carolina State University. He taught Spiritual Literature.

Late Night

StarvedArtist — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:03:23 +0000

Up all night writing japanese sentences. Jooooy. It’s amazing how when you see something, read something, or hear something you shouldn’t have, and you obsess over it it affects your mood in the worst way. You question everything, too much. After all, how do you know that what you saw wasn’t done or said in jest? You don’t know, and maybe that’s the problem. And so my mind rages. Am I really just a placeholder?

Chapter 1 of Novel 2 Released

StarvedArtist — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:45:32 +0000

In the writing section you’ll find the first chapter of Novel 2. I say Novel 2 because I don’t have a title for it and it’s not my first idea for a novel. So, Novel 2 until further notice. As far as the genre and what kind of story it will become, I honestly haven’t the faintest idea, though I will say it starts out science fictiony, but I’ll see if I can’t break that barrier.

Anyways, I apologize for it’s tardiness. I’ve been really busy trying to keep up with school work and all of that, so it’s just been ridiculously hectic in my life at the moment. I hope everyone enjoys the read, though I caution you, it has yet to be revised. This was the product of an intoxicated evening, so we’ll see how you like it. Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, criticisms, things you liked or didn’t like, and I’ll try to keep each in mind, but remember that at the end of the day, the story is mine.

Thanks for reading

それじゃあまた

Perhaps A Critical Announcement

StarvedArtist — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 02:05:30 +0000

This will hopefully be the last “empty” update that I make for a while. By empty, I mean that nothing is really accomplished with this update aside from just telling you readers about my day, which I guess is fine, but it’s not really what the blog is about. No dearies, it’s about something greater than that: fiction.

At any rate, I decided to start working on a chapter per week. Which is to say, hopefully every week I’ll have a new chapter released and posted in the writing section. Once I can find a title, I’ll add a new section with the title as the… well… title. I figure this is about all the rigor I can handle at the moment.

In other news, I had to write an essay entirely in Japanese for class today. That was interesting. It was also very muzukashii. For Wednesday, I have to write a film review of Beowful and Grendel starring Gerard Butler. I’m excited to watch this movie because Gerard Butler is a badass. For those of you who don’t recognize the name, he was the leader of the Spartans in the movie 300.

Furthermore, I’ll be dressing awesomely tomorrow in an attempt to get a date; wish me luck. This is really about all I have for now, so in parting, keep reading books, and thanks for reading the blog.

それじゃあまたね

A couple shots, a drink, a movie, and perhaps a review. Oh what the heck, why not two?

StarvedArtist — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:47:15 +0000

Inebriation is the key to good writing, just ask Tennessee Williams. Oh wait. Sorry. Anyways, Saturday is essentially the conclusion of my weekend since I must use Sunday to do all of the crap that got assigned throughout the week, with a chance of concentrated work in Polo county. Not that I’m complaining mind you, just telling you. I hear people like to be told the details of things. I mean don’t we all? A brief summary of the transpired events: a couple of absolutely beautiful ladies paid me a visit Friday afternoon. I took them out to lunch and made them dinner. Trying to get laid? No. Just feeling generous. I like exposing people to things I consider “good.” Although, the fact that I like I treating people and making them feeling comfortable probably has a large part to play as well. After they left my roommate’s girlfriend and her two friends played Cranium and Apples to Apples with me. It was very entertaining. Then we engaged in activities of questionable legality, but hey, what else am I supposed to do in College? Today, well yesterday I guess, I took my sweet time waking up, hooked up my sound system, went to work, went to dinner with a buddy, then saw… ZOMBIELAND. And man, was it AMAZING.

So I’m missing a segue, big deal. Zombieland was pretty awesome. I personally felt like they tried to work a little too much plot into it, but then again, I feel like it did a good job of wrapping things up with the ending. My friend does not agree with me. He felt like it was a good balance of plot and zombie killing. I guess I just expected the movie to be nothing but a series of zombie killings. Oh well, maybe next time right? The movie kicks off with the main character introducing himself and his four basic rules that have kept him alive. We then are gradually introduced to the rest of the cast, which are shown in the previews of the movie. As the characters travel across the U.S. and make pit stops, they run into inevitable Zombie encounters and we the audience are captivated by the brutality of their destructions.

As I mentioned in the last update, I read the book High Bloods by John Farris. If you are at all interested in werewolf books, this is a good book. It puts a rather interesting spin on the transference of the Lycanthropy virus. The story follows a detective in the ILC, International Lycan Control, named Rawson and takes place in California. The date is unknown for the most part, but we do know it’s in the future and somewhat post apocalyptic. However, it’s not the Zombiegeddon that plagues society, but rather a rampant new STD that causes humans to “Hair up” or shift into werewolves. It was a very enthralling read and the action kept the pages turning. The rulers of this new world, which seems to be a collection of city-states, are the upper class known as “High Bloods,” which are the people that have not been infected. The reader is thrust into the middle of an investigation and is taken on a roller coaster ride as Rawson is exposed to coincidences and strange happenings, such as seeing a girl hair-up when it’s not a full moon. And at times the reader mind find the lingo a little hard to digest, Farris does a good job of tenderizing and seasoning things as need be.

So yes, short stories. I’m currently working on the revisions of a short story that is complete, but not publishable material. So, expect something by the end of the semester, hopefully by the end of the month. It all just depends on my determination of sitting down and fiddling with it. I need to do a lot of expanding. I mean, imagine reading a story that was entirely summarized. It wouldn’t be very interesting. Anyways, my one reader asked about a short story that I had gotten inspiration for. Well, I never finished anything, I just got a beginning. I’ll post it in the writing section. That’s pretty much in for tonight. As always, thanks for reading.

それじゃあまたね

Long Time

StarvedArtist — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:07:30 +0000

It’s been a long time since I’ve made a post, as date-checkers will see. I decided to start back up again just for the sake of ranting about how stupid people can be. Or I could actually be kidding. However, I did post two poems that I wrote last month. “Why poems?” you ask? Well, damnit, they’re easy as hell to write for one. For two, it’s the only thing that I’m regularly being forced to write due to one of my classes. “But Reid, you’re a writer! Shouldn’t you be writing all the time?” You make a good point alter ego, but alas, it’s hard to get motivated. Although, I’m hoping that writing in this daily will motivate me to at least post some revisions and snippets from the stuff I’ve been writing. Some prose stuff, I should say.

A quick update is in order I suppose. I’m still taking Japanese; I’ve started Creative Fiction and Colloquium this semester. I’m also taking Medieval British Literature, which is pretty interesting so far. Not necessarily because of the class, but my classmates. More importantly, the blog should have far less random tangents on emotions and philosophy and more on literature. My first post in this regard will more than likely be about either Martin’s series or Rothfuss’s Name of the Wind since both of these series’ will be coming out with a new book soon. I also read a book called High Bloods by John Farris, and I read Salvatore’s series about Drizzt. I read a few others over the summer and I won’t say that I’ve liked everything I’ve read so far, including the ones I mentioned, but it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve an alluring review and my opinion being shoved down your throats on the innuhnetz. Lastly, I have a few books that I haven’t gotten around to reading, some are pretty well known, and once I read them and collect my thoughts about them, I’ll post it up.

Well, that’s about it for now, I need to meet a friend for dinner and do that whole socializing thing. Just like the old times, thanks for reading
それじゃあまた明日

Heavy Destiny

StarvedArtist — Sat, 30 May 2009 02:03:03 +0000

It’s been a while since I’ve made an entry, but I felt genuinely compelled to write this one. A little exposition: I was going through all messages and conversations (just because I have that kind of time) and stumbled upon not one, not two or three, but rather almost everyone I talked to say “You will do great things; I can’t wait to see what they are.” It’s one thing to hear it from a parent, but from friends, and not just one friend, but several.

While I like the idea of being destined to do great things, it’s kind of a big responsibility. I mean, some days I’m lucky if I can manage to make myself get up and approach the day, and here I am with people, who would have be believe that they believe (didja follow?) that I am going to something noteworthy. Something that changes lives. Obviously, there are many different kinds of great things. I could be in missions and genuinely change lives, and I mean really change them and for the better more than likely. I could be in social work and make such huge differences in the microcosms of needy families. And so while these are note-worthy things, they are not noted.

Well, what’s the problem with that, I’m sure you’re asking. If you know me, I mean truly know me, then you know that I don’t like to do things halfway. If I’m going to do great things, then damnit… I’m going to do the greatest things. I want to touch everyone’s life. Not one or two starving and warring tribes, not one or two needy families. Everyone. Everything. I want to help it all, and I will. I will help; I will fix; I will change.

Where would I begin? I do not need to trouble myself with this question. I know the direction that I must journey, and I’ll let my path be defined as the world turns.

Those are some big words. Do you think you can do it? Honestly, no. It’s a tall order to affect everything. However, if there is a way to do it then I will discover it or make it, of that I am certain.

As always, thanks for reading.

それじゃあまたね

Delirium

StarvedArtist — Tue, 12 May 2009 09:55:44 +0000

It’s 5:33am as I type/write this. I think I’m getting sick. Funny how that is. Not really. I feel like I’m battling delirium and nostalgia. How’s that working for me? Well, I haven’t believed anything I’ve seen, so maybe I’m winning, but then again it’s kind of like hanging out with the Ghost of Christmas Past (quick interlude: or is it passed? While past would make sense, since [har har] we’re talking about the present and future, passed as in it the time passes by or passed us, for tense sake, also seems to work) minus the Christmas of chorus. Course. Ahem.

Getting sick right now would suck, but I, in part, blame my job. I got schedule for the over night shifts this week. I needed to fix my sleep schedule saturday night, so I stayed up until 6am, slept until 3ish pm, went to work at 6pm, and thought I’d only have to stay until 3am. Doesn’t sound to bad does it? Well, I had to stay until 7:30am. Yes, my first over night shift of the week was 12.5 hours long. I had no red bull, no energy drinks. I had nothing. I had to force myself to stay awake. I then had to wait until 9am this morning so I could go to the bank and deposit my check. I’m pretty broke, I’ll admit it. Another problem, coupled with the forced change of sleeping habbit and sleep deprivation (tripled with? fewed with? hmm) is the rain. Yes dear readers, it started raining last night, drastically dropping the temp from a balmy 72 to a brisk 49. A brisk and wet 49. So guess whose lungs have fluid in them! Also, I have had to sniff paint fumes the entire time. Thus, it is now 5:42 am and I find myself unable to sleep and with a noisy death rattle of a cough.

This delirium has been birthing interesting thoughts. I may have a new short story idea. We’ll see how it goes, but it also let, yes let, me say this: If you could hear what I hear, see what I see, would we… could we agree? There is ne’er enough time to explain. How do you know? Are we the same?

I wonder if one day there will be a book published and it’s only contents are quotes from me. Maybe that’s too ambitious. A book of quotes will be published and I’ll be in it. I like the first idea better. My eyes feel like they’re bulging out of their sockets. It’s like that feeling you get when you’re being suffocated and not enough oxygen is… what? Have you never been strangled before? Well anyways, the oxygen is obviously cut off from your body and your eyes start to bulge out, painfully. That’s kind of how I feel. The sun is rising now. I’m kind of ready for the sunset.

Good Night

Thanks for reading

それじゃあまたね

Wired

StarvedArtist — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 07:04:01 +0000

And strapped in. I ready for it. For summer, I mean. Exams will be easy, I’ve got nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, my lack of money is causing me varying degrees of worry. I’m just hoping it’ll all work out. Lately, I’ve been worrying about papers and things like that. I think I have one due tomorrow… I don’t even know how that would work, but whatever. Which is to say that we are assigned two papers over the semester. I didn’t do the first one and the second one isn’t going to be graded soon enough for me to turn in my revision. Tomorrow. I don’t think I can turn in a revised paper that never existed. "Here, I revised nothingness and gave birth to… marshmellows. Enjoy." Which reminds me, when you guys read through this, do you hear my voice reading it? By that, I mean do you hear me pausing at certain punctuations, or if you’ve been around me long enough, give the words my conversational mannerisms. I kind of pause a lot and vary my tempo for dramatic effect. I know, I’m the shit. Some of you are still thinking "How did marshmellows remind you of your embedded voice?" Well, whatever.

Rhetorical questions are no longer becoming questions in instant messages. Have you noticed? They’re often ended in periods. Normally it’s things that begin with the interrogative pronouns (that’s the 5 w’s and the 1 H for you non english majors). It’s just something I’ve been noticing lately on facebook and other such things, course I don’t ever really talk to many people. Well, I take that back. I think I’ve sent each person on my friend’s list a "hey" or "hello" at least once, but rarely ever do I get responses from them. People just don’t like me I guess. Oh well, not a big deal really

So I have these mixed monologue ideas and I really wanted to get something written tonight, but it doesn’t look like that’ll happen. Why, you ask? Well, simply put, I just put it off. I have these two ideas that I’d like to attempt to meld together, and I just couldn’t seem ot find the will to sit down and do it. I wanted it written by today so I could give it to someone to have them perform on reading day. Also, I’m a little put off because I basically was told today that I can’t write worth a shit. …

…

I mean fuck, that’s like telling a rocket scientist that his forumlae are all wrong. Or like telling a teacher that his ethics and methods are wrong and ineffective. Or telling a vegetarian that humans were created to be omnivores. Okay, not quite like that last one, but you get my point. It was disheartening to say the least. And I know it shouldn’t matter because who is this person to tell me I can’t write? I’m always going to have critics and people who hate my style or think it’s trash and I’ve been told by people of note that I have a way with the pen, so it shouldn’t bother me. It does though. It’ll always bother me. It’s a personality flaw of mine. Why do I need the acceptance from everyone? What is there to gain from it? I won’t sleep any better at night, I won’t necessarily get more money, I won’t get more attention from women. I mean… there’s nothing to really gain here. So why… Why do I cling on to such desire of universal renown, recognition, and acceptance? Was it something about the way I was raised? The initial development of my perception? Possibly. I would have no idea what event to pinpoint it on though. Maybe I do. I don’t know.

I also find that sometimes I get these ridiculous thoughts. Like really asshole-y or bitchy thoughts. Like… well, I don’t really want to admit to what they are because I’m embarrassed of them, but it’s just things that after they cross my mind I immediately think, “Whoa… did I just… wow. I’m such an asshole,” and I then wonder how it was that this thought entered my mind. I feel so ashamed and I worry if it’s too late to remedy my immediate biases. And no, it’s not racism you unlearned trogladytes. Well, that’s it for tonight. As always, thanks for reading

それじゃあまたね

Potential Energy

StarvedArtist — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:05:24 +0000

I don’t even want to do an introduction. Fuck introductions. I owe you an introduction. Look, updating every day, to start with, was fine, but you don’t want or need to hear just how repitetive my life is. No, this would be a LiveJournal if I did that, and that’s not what this fucking is. You can go somewhere else for that.

Read my play today in class. It wasn’t as good as I was hoping. There are a lot of needed changes. I mean fuck… I thought I was done with the writing for this class after this thing, but no. No, I have a monologue due as a final, and I also have to redo the two plays I’ve written. I mean… what? Really? That’s… fine, I guess. I mean it needs to be done and it makes me do revisions. I fucking hate doing revisions. When I finish something I have no interest in fixing it. It’s done. I’m done with it.

Potential Energy. We all know what that is, at least you guys better. I’ll make fun of you to no end if you don’t. Go back to 4th grade science class. Right now, I have so much energy I feel like I’m about to combust. I mean, that is how spontaneous combustion happens right? Well not really, but whatever. An update’s an update. RAWR. Thanks for reading.

それじゃあまたね